The Impact of Domestic Violence on Kids

What do children see and hear in a home that is plagued with violence? Is it arguments, threats, and anger? Perhaps fear, weariness, and caution? What about physical destruction of property or attacks on a parent? The impact on children, as you might imagine, can be dramatic.

A Search for Support

Children experience fear for a parent, along with the dread that violence may at some point be directed at them. They often withdraw, secretly hoping for support from extended family, friends, teachers, or faith leaders. They are looking for hope, coping strategies, and stability. The degree of disruption to children depends on many factors, including:

• Their age;
• The frequency and seriousness of the violence and threats;
• The children’s relationship to both the abuser and the abused;
• Other factors in the child’s life, either stressful or positive;
• The connection with other stable adults.

Protecting Their Parent

More often than you might guess, children try to take on the role of protector for their abused parent. They may resist leaving the parent alone or get in the middle of a violent episode. Some may attempt to “fix” their broken family by being especially good, while others may try to draw attention to themselves with naughty behavior to spare a parent.

What Can an Abused Parent Do?

As a parent who is in an abusive relationship, please understand that you are the most significant person in your child’s life. Try to take the time to enjoy simple moments together. Meanwhile, help your child to have a strong sense of self and to be proud of their accomplishments, abilities, and talents. Children in this situation can learn to understand the importance of resilience by believing they are loved for being the special person they are. That means acknowledgement for the small things kids do that demonstrate their kindness, empathy, and helpfulness. It also means kids should enjoy being kids and avoid feelings of responsibility for their elders. Talk about your child’s feelings, expectations, hopes, and dreams and share your own.

Surviving Trauma

Sadly, many children who witness domestic violence find themselves repeating the cycle as adults, but that doesn’t have to be a hard and fast rule. Having a strong support network, positive relationships, and healthy self-esteem can mitigate the risks for them as adults. Certainly, counseling of some kind is generally a good idea.

Advocating for You

The dedicated and well-qualified Miami domestic violence attorneys at The Law Office of Julia Kefalinos always advocate for the best possible outcome for you. To discuss your options, schedule a confidential consultation in our Miami office today.