Domestic Violence: Support Survivors in Your Life With Conversation

Domestic violence occurs everywhere across society. The FBI reports that the number of domestic violence murder victims topped 11,000 in the past five years, and the number of victims who suffer every day in violent relationships exceeds 1.1 million. And in just the past year, over 70,000 teens experienced violence in a relationship. With these numbers, it’s entirely possible that you know someone in such a relationship right now. What can friends and family do to support survivors of domestic violence?

• Be open to having a conversation that may be painful and in depth–in fact, be willing to start that conversation with a survivor when they seem ready.
• You don’t need to advise or judge. Just hear what they have to say and listen to what they need.
• Provide validation for the conflicting feelings they may be experiencing.
• Avoid labels that may be triggering, such as victim, domestic violence, and Focus on support and resources unless they use such language.
• Don’t go into it thinking that you can quickly and easily solve the problem. Be ready to listen and accept that doing nothing at all may be the best option in the moment.
• Tell victims that you believe them, and actually do, keeping in mind that abusers may act differently in private than in public.
• If the opening comes, use the opportunity to refer them to resources to address issues such as medical issues, emotional trauma, developing a safety and/or escape plan, access to local shelters, housing options, and more.
• Praise them for the strengths that have sustained them in life, and inspire them to use those strengths to move forward.
• Reassure them that they are not to blame for the violence, and that they do not deserve it.
• Let them know that you are very concerned about their safety and that you would like to help in the ways you can, such as through help with child care, transportation, or pet care, among other ways.
• Provide support for the decisions they make, even when it is difficult to do. Remember that domestic violence is largely about control, and survivors have lost control over many aspects of their lives. It can be empowering to take control of their own feelings and plans in a conversation with you. And as much as you believe that a particular plan of action would be the best course, understand that every situation is different and must be treated uniquely. Even when their decisions don’t seem right to you, support them and be available in the event they later choose a different direction.

Your Legal Advocate

The experienced Miami domestic violence attorneys at The Law Office of Julia Kefalinos are here to assist survivors of domestic violence with the legal options available here in Miami. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation with us today.

Source:

/opdv.ny.gov/start-conversation-be-better-ally-0